Zoey May-One Year Later

When I told Josh I wanted a puppy he was against it.  Keelin was 5 months old.  We were getting ready to move into our first house after being in the condo.  I argued it was perfect timing.  We could bring her home right after I finished with school for the summer and I would train her.  Reluctantly, he agreed.  But he fell in love with her as much as I did.  Training:  she was never a good one for the leash.  Not for lack of trying.  That was really Josh's domain.  He tried.  Walking her up and down the street on her leash.  We were lucky enough to have a fenced in back yard where she could run free.  Run free she did.  After anything we threw to her.  She loved playing fetch.  She would start frothing at the mouth before she would stop.  We had to make her stop.  She was pretty easy to "potty" train, rarely barked, and has the sweetest disposition of any dog I think I have ever met.  She loved all of the kids.  Nibbling on Keelin's toes when we brought her home and cooling off in the saucer part of Kee's exersaucer is how I remember her in Buffalo. When we moved down to GA, she rode with me and the kids in the Subaru.  We moved in with Kristin and Chris and Zoey went to stay with my new friend, Amy and her family.  We were separated for a couple of months while we house hunted but then Zoey came with us to our new home in GA.  Zoey loved being outdoors here.  She loved to lay in the sun on the back patio and of course, play ball.  I remember our dogs growing up shaking on the rides to the vet.  Not Zoey.  She loved the vet and her caregivers there.  They always commented on how sweet and happy she was to be there.  She did great on long car rides back and forth home to NY when we first moved here.  When we vacationed and could not take her, she happily went to friends' houses. Moving down here did a number on Zoey's ears and skin.  She got many ear infections and the vet told us that unless we moved to Arizona or back to NY, she would be affected by them here.  So she had shots every 6 months and that really helped until the past couple years when she started taking prednisone for her itching and joints.  A few years ago we were told she had a tumor on her leg and we should amputate.  Her love of running and the fact that she was 9 years old led us to the decision not to amputate.  We did get a biopsy which was inconclusive.  And the "tumor" shrunk and went away.....We were lucky to have almost three more years with her.  Her ear problems did cause her ear canals to completely close up.  This did not prevent her from hearing me getting the Cabot cheese out of the refrigerator.  She was there right next to me waiting for me to cut her a piece.  I spent Christmas night laying on the floor next to the fire with Max and Zoey both curled up around me.  She loved fires.  She loved to be pet and if you stopped she would nudge your arm to continue or paw you until you started up again.  If I was sad, she knew.  When I lay on the couch, she would come up and lay next to me on the floor or lay her head on my chest to be pet.  On Thursday, she did not seem herself.  She would not get up off the step.  She had thrown up a couple days before and then stopped eating.  Josh took her to the vet and they diagnosed her with a stomach tumor although not sure if it was in her intestine or liver.  Because of her age, the size, and her difficulty with breathing (the vet said it was pressing on her diagphram) we were told to make a decision....
I slept downstairs with Zoey that night. Her discomfort was evident and I lay silently sobbing next to her.  Josh and I took her to the vet the next day, Cabot slices in my pocket. Her Dr. was in tears telling us that we made the best decision and how much more humane we are to our pets than to people. They placed a plate of cake next to her which she promptly ignored for the cheese I held out. That's my girl.  She went quietly, with no more pain...her head in my lap.
**One year later....still thinking about her all the time.  Charley definitely has a really good life because of how much we loved Zoey and what a good dog she was.  She set a high standard but she also taught us about unconditional love and that time is so short.  Here are some of Zoey....

xo~M

                                     April 18, 2001-January 4, 2013

Our Zoey

Happy face

Zoey and Baby Ella

Josh and Puppy Zoey

Nibbling on Keelin's toes

Zoey and Keelin

Zoey and Max

One of her favorite puppy spots...in Keelin's exersaucer

May your days be Merry and Bright....

Holiday break.  17 glorious days off from school.  Although the kids are at home, so I am not sure HOW glorious! No really it has been great so far.  Spending Christmas Eve with my sister and her family was awesome.  Only lessened slightly by the fact that my whole family is not together.  My brother in law is home from Afghanistan after a year so  my sister's family is complete again.  Definitely cause for celebration and joy.  Both of which was had by all.  The kids had a wonderful Christmas.  Keelin thanked us for an AMAZING Christmas.  Ella, Max, and I made a ton of food.  We have been living in our jammies, watching movies, and general lazing.  Today Max and Ella did get dressed and went outside to play with our neighbors.  I am three quarters of the way through a book I started this morning.  I would say it has been a successful vacation day.

xo~M

Keelin tries shrimp for the first time!

Helping Uncle Chris prepare the lobsters

Her favorite gift...love it

Poor Josh-failed attempt at building a gingerbread house YEARS ago...never let him forget. The kids picked him out a gingerbread house ornament this year.  

Merry Christmas, Baby

A Carpenter's Daughter

Back in the summer I bought an old six-paned glass window.  It still had the rope ties in it.   I have wanted one for a while...I would still like more with assorted panes, but this one would do for now.  It took me until November to really decide what I wanted to do with it.  First I had to sand it.  There were thick layers of paint on it.  Dark green, cream, maybe white too....at least 3 colors and who knows how many coats.  I started hand sanding thinking that it was SO old the paint would just flake off.  You are laughing at me now, aren't you?  Keelin came in to help me one day.  I was covered in paint dust.  She grabbed a sanding sponge and we both put on masks (I am SURE the paint was lead based) and goggles.  We barely made a dent.

I had done a few other wood working projects and borrowed sanders, but I decided it was time.....

To get my own!!!! The fact that it is called "Mouse" does NOT bother me at all!  It is perfect for me-sized projects (for now!) So I went to work.  One pane I was a little overzealous and sanded so much that I knocked the glass out.  I could have put it back in, but I decided to go with it for the sake of the project. I got down to some really pretty dark wood.  I thought for a brief moment that I would keep the beautiful wood, but the thought of stripping it .... nah...been there, done that with a stairway.  Not to be repeated.  

A little glimpse of the painted frame.  You can still see some of the layer that was so stubborn, but I think it adds some character.  I also added some "fake snow." 

 I decided to paint one pane with chalkboard paint and to use the open pane to hang ornaments.  I used some eyelet screws and ribbon to hang some silver ornaments I had leftover.

The finished product sits on the mantle  I changed white ribbon for red to add a pop of color.  I was going to put pictures behind the top two panes, but decided to just go with the snow.  The nice thing is that the ornaments can be removed, the lettering erased, and the snow washed off so that I can use it for another "project." I emailed my mom the finished product - telling her about the sanding, etc.  She emailed me back one line : A Carpenter's daughter.  It made me smile, think about my dad....that I am proud I know how to take on a little project like this because I paid attention to things he taught me.  A smile in my heart for sure.

xo~M

Being Still

I recently left Facebook.  I de-activated temporarily, thinking I would probably be back.  My friend, Stacy told me I would find freedom in it.  I have to admit, I was slightly skeptical.  I thought I would handle the quiet and go back.  Last week I decided I was done.  I didn't really need it.  Stacy was right.  I did feel free in a sense.  I messaged my friends from afar, told them I was de-activating (permanently), and gave them my contact information.  I opened my email this morning and read the newest blog post from one of my favorite authors and bloggers, Glennon Melton, who writes the Momastery blog.  She talked about taking her annual hiatus from the outside world...being still and looking.  It just seemed kind of ironic and exactly how I was feeling.  Felt nice to be validated, in a way.  Her post, http://momastery.com/blog/ echoed my thoughts.  Another friend of mine commented on my leaving Facebook- commenting that I was hands off....I commented back that I wanted to be hands on...to life, to my kids, to Josh...and yes, hands off to some of the technology that I felt had started to invade the "in real life." This weekend was a lot of hands on to real life....some not so fun-laundry, dishes, blech...but then a lot of FUN too....baking, candle making, movie watching, snuggling....being still.

xo~M

Prep-ingredients, music, recipes.

Candles-before

Candles-after

Cookie dough-before

Cookie dough-during

     

Cookies-After

It's Going Down....I'm yelling Timber

It was not funny when it happened.  In fact, I was teary.  But after it happened, Pitbull and Ke$ha were stuck in my head. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was so excited to decorate and turn the lights on.  It is one of my most favorite times of the season.  So I put it up.  I put the lights on, the ornaments, the beads....

 The Toot and Puddle ornament that my best friend, Kimberley gave me.  I took this shot and then texted it to her that I was thinking about her. 

 As I was taking this shot, the tree was tipping toward me....I "think" I yelled out and then tried to catch it. 

So we lost Ella's First Christmas, Josh's Georgia ornament (I get him an ornament every year since he grew up with a menorah), the last ornament my mom bought me, and one that Keelin and Ella bought Josh and I on their own.  There were a few tears.  I was grateful, though that Ben's ornament survived, as well as Zoey's.  The majority of the kids' ornaments were safe.  Josh and I spent the next hour under the tree with a razor knife and limb clippers trying to cut off an offensive knob that did not allow the tree to drop fully into the tree stand.  I say a little prayer each day when I come home from work that it is still standing.  We are on day 2. 

xo~M

Peace, Faith, Grace, and Joy

A little bit of a different kind of post from me today.  To backtrack a little...I started attending a church almost 2 years ago.  On the recommendation from a friend, I took the girls to Browns Bridge Community Church.  I liked the laid back atmosphere, although was skeptical of the contemporati-ness of it.  I grew up in a traditional Episcopalian church.  I remember attending church school and being anxious for it to be over so I could join my mom in the adult service.  Since moving to GA, I have tried a few different churches.  Nothing has really stuck for me.  Until Browns Bridge.  Although it stuck more because my girls (especially Keelin) LOVED it.  I have had a distant relationship with God.  I do not like not knowing the WHY of things and so much really seems up in the air.  When we lost Ben, my distant relationship became non existent and a lot of anger replaced any other feeling I may have had.  Starting back into church 2 years ago, I still felt very unsure but I continued to go and really began hearing the messages.  Not so much sermons as more life lessons.  Since that point in time, Josh and Max have joined us and we attend as a family. I continue to feel like I am searching for my place and for a "relationship."  I envy my friends who appear to have this calm peace surrounding them.  Who have this blind faith and knowledge that I seem to be lacking.  About a month ago I received an email from one of Keelin's past small group leaders.  She and the other leader were beginning a study through Philippians.  They had just returned from China on a mission trip and felt the need to open a women's group and I was one of the women invited.  I felt very honored. I also felt that the invitation came at a time when I really needed a change or at least feel like I was making a change.  I attended my third session last Thursday.  These ladies are so patient with my search.  I think it was what I needed and I worry I will not know where to go once it is over.  I jot notes down and as I was sitting there I realized I wrote down four words:  peace, faith, grace, and joy.  Not asking a lot?  Ha!  I think these are four things that I long for in my journey.  I definitely feel pieces.  I feel joy and peace.  I am trying to live gracefully and with faith.  My greatest joy is my family.  I feel at peace running and taking pictures.  I believe that my goal is to feel all four throughout the facets in my life.  Like I said, a journey.....

xo~M

JOYous selfie with my boy

A little PEACE

More JOY

Hello November!

I can not believe it is November already.  Halloween has come and gone.  The first year that we have not gone trick or treating as a family...Keelin has apparently deemed us "uncool" and fled the neighborhood to go with her friends.  Ella and Max had a blast though, as did Josh and I.  We visited a local pumpkin patch with my sister and nieces.  We have had numerous soccer games...I have lost count.  Keelin performed in her middle school play again this year.  They performed the Wizard of Oz and she was THE BEST munchkin coroner I have ever seen OR heard.  She was absolutely amazing.  The entire cast was wonderful.  It is now over, as are the daily practices and the late dress rehearsals....phew.  Soccer marches on though and Josh has started his basketball coaching season.  Bye babe, I will miss you....
In other news, I continue to be Facebook free and it is easier and easier everyday.  I have been running a lot more-two 5Ks and one 10K under my belt in the last four weeks.  It makes me feel better.  I have connected with some "in real life" people, which has been really nice. I have enjoyed spending more time with my sister and running some races with her.  I have loved taking more pictures.  Enjoy ....

xo~M

My little Wolverine

Storm and The Flash

The cutest football player ever.....

Goalie girl gets on the field

Namaste in the jumpy house

Riding the bull

Evelyn sinking the principal's husband!

A beautiful tree I pass on my way to school

Max doing a throw in...check out his crossed legs!

Half time pep talk

Keelin

Grasshopper on Max's loofah

The front yard tree...before

And after.....

Keelin's show roses from Aunt Kristin

Keelin's play